How do i know where god wants me to go? Why do I feel like I'm taking steps in an unknown direction? What am I supposed to do with my life? Who am I supposed to be? What is God's assignment for me? These were the questions I was asking myself months ago. There are many trials and seasons of struggle before a season of good. For me there's a lot to my story as there is to everyone's, but for a while I was questioning what my purpose was and how God was going to use me.
I felt lost in the world like I didn’t know who I was. I had all these different masks I was putting on for every room I was in. It felt that in every different room I had to be different. There was the hockey me, the work, the school, and the church me, they were all parts of me but they weren’t who I was. It was easy to get lost while searching for something in all those different rooms. The truth is I never found myself, who I was and who god created me to be, until I was able to start taking off all those masks.
The first step I had to take to understand the assignment that God had for me was to find my identity through Christ. This consisted of reading scripture, praying, and diving into my faith. One of the things that helped me the most was a podcast called The Basement with Tim Ross. That podcast has helped me become a better man and a better follower of Jesus.
As I was diving into my faith I started to pray more asking God that he guide me to whatever my assignment was, I prayed that I would be led by the desires he has for me and not the desires of my flesh. Prayer was very important for me because it’s how anyone talks to God and I knew that if I kept asking he would answer.
Weeks had gone by and I was in school at ASU and everyday I would walk through the middle of downtown Phoenix to get to my classes and I would see so many homeless and individuals who were struggling. I had several instances where they came up to me and would ask for money or food and I would reluctantly hesitate and keep walking. However, one day a man asked me for money for food on my way to eat lunch, I had a few dollars so I gave him only a small amount of the money I had and he said “you need the rest of that I guess”. I responded to him with something along the lines of “yeah man I gotta eat”. I kept walking and went and got my sandwich, but when I was paying for my sandwich this feeling of conviction grew and I felt bad that I didn’t give the man more money or offered to get him food. Little did I know that this was the start to God revealing my assignment. So I bought the sandwich, walked back and gave it to the guy. That whole experience with him planted a seed in my heart that I was supposed to help feed as many people as I can, and I had the idea to start a business and use the profits for the work I was going to do in the community.
So why a clothing brand? To be honest I have no idea. I got the idea from a dream I had and I always liked wearing graphic tees and that's when somehow making shirts popped in my head and I just pursued it. I came up with the brand based on the miracle of Jesus feeding 5000, Luke 9:16. I pledged to use all my profits to help those in need by handing out water and snacks in downtown Phoenix to the homeless and hungry. However setting the business up was no easy task. I had no help and no experience so I was praying it would work out. I would constantly remind myself that I would figure it out because God is with me. (Romans 8:31, “If God is for us, who can be against us”).
I had faith that if God really wanted me to do this he would give me a sign and he did and it's not what you think. I haven't made much money in fact it's not the money that even matters. I knew this was my assignment because I saw the Holy Spirit give a man hope and peace. The first person on the first time I ever went into the community and handed out food and water was sat on a bench at Grand Central Station. He was an older black man that looked like he was in pretty bad shape. I offered him the water and snacks and nervously said “god bless” and started turning away. I had come into the day saying I was going to ask every single person if I could pray for them but I got nervous and scared and I had no courage. But that man sat on the bench looked up to the sky and said thank you lord and that gave me my confidence. I turned back and asked if I could pray for him, he said yes. We bowed our heads together and I prayed. I prayed for him and his struggles, I prayed that Jesus shows him peace in times of hardship, I prayed that through all the endeavors in his life he remembers to draw near the lord because he will guide him through them. I prayed that he would experience the love that God has for him. I prayed that in times of darkness he would look towards Jesus because he is the light and he will guard his heart. I prayed that he remembers the future glory in heaven that Jesus promised us by dying on the cross for our sins and resurrecting 3 days later. And I finally prayed that his soul be filled and renewed with the holy spirit. That prayer ended with the man having tears running down his face, his hands were in mine and as he sobbed he cried out to God, worshiping the Lord. As for me I couldn’t help but give him a hug and smile because I knew this was the current assignment God has for me, and he gave me all the courage I would need.